A Most Unexpected 5th-Grade Graduation

My daughter graduated 5th grade this past Monday. It was one of the first times this year where a large body of people was allowed to get together. And yet, it was not your usual cap-and-gown affair. Instead, it was in the sports field next to the district office with the students entering from one side and the parents entering from the other. Attendance was limited to 4 per student, with each group being given a collection of chairs separate from the others by 6 ft. Students were placed in an orderly line, separated by classes, and staggered as they both entered the staging area as well as when they were getting ready to receive their diploma.

Once their name was called, the student came up on stage, accepted their diploma, took a picture with their teacher and then went off stage. Masks were required everywhere and only ever allowed off for the student when they took that single picture, while everyone else around them was still masked. There were some speeches given by students and a few guests, but for the most part it was very cut-and-dry. Certainly not what one would have expected for a moving-up ceremony.

That being said, it was still wonderful to have an actual ceremony instead of a cyber-conference or having it be cancelled altogether. That was unfortunately what happened for last year’s 5th graders who were completely blindsided by COVID. The students were impacted so much this year that being recognized for their dedication to their studies in spite of the unique circumstances deserves celebration.

And, of course, it wouldn’t have been possible without their amazing principal and incredible 5th grade teachers, who went above and beyond to make it as enjoyable as possible, including having a safe reception afterword at their school.

Congratulations, Alicia! May middle school be just as exciting, but far less dire.

Hello, My Name is Ethan and I’m a Video Game Addict

I must confess that I am a video game addict. Like an alcoholic who might start with one drink and be unable to stop, I suffer from such an addiction when it comes to video games. I might be able to start with a simple half an hour with every intention of only playing for half an hour. But before I know it I’ve played for hours. Or worse yet, I sneak off to the bedroom or bathroom to play.

And when I’m with my kids I’m thinking about the time when I can next play my games. I’m short with them and my wife; I ignore my responsibilities; and worse yet, my behavior impacts my kids who see my obsession as permission to behave the same way.

Thankfully, I have the wherewithal to recognize my addiction and act against it. I love my family more than getting my next fix, but it is a slippery slope. That is why I have had to uninstall all the games on my phone and not even pick up my switch or grab a Wii remote. I simply cannot stop myself once I begin.

Those who don’t suffer from the same addiction can’t understand how powerless one can become from it. But it is real.

So, yes, my name is Ethan, and I am a video game addict. It has been two months since I last played a game.

Important Links

https://www.npr.org/2019/05/28/727585904/is-gaming-disorder-an-illness-the-who-says-yes-adding-it-to-its-list-of-diseases
https://gamequitters.com/video-game-addiction/
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/video-game-addiction#1
https://www.addictioncenter.com/drugs/video-game-addiction/

Traveling with the family

One of the greatest tests of parenting young children isn’t the first time you have to change a diaper or reprimand a disobedient child, or getting a picky eater to eat their vegetables, or even ensuring they get to bed at a reasonable hour, it’s making sure the family doesn’t self-destruct on family trips. I’m not taking about a trip to the grocery store or an journey in the car to the beach or mountains, I’m referring to an extended stay at a remote location where the usual distractions are absent.

Its a true privilege to be able to experience the different cultures of the world, and I definitely recommend allowing your children to see how others go about their daily lives. But unless you have the convenience of family at your destination, you usually have to fill your time with engaging activities to keep your children satisfied and you sane.

It could be different with younger versus older children or the pre-internet/phone/iPad generation versus post but I am constantly struggling with my children to find interesting in the surround culture for more than a few minutes that I makes me wonder whether it’s worth it all.

But then there are those moments where they try eating a food they wouldn’t get anywhere else and enjoy it, or stand from the top of one of the worlds tallest buildings and look out at the city below and you understand it is the collection of experiences that makes it worthwhile. It shapes their perspective of the world and allows them to recognize there is much more going on than in the little part called home. And hopefully they’ll appreciate what you’ve shown them and want to expand their own horizons.

To Kumon or Not to Kumon or "when public education is not enough"

I am writing this as I sit at Kumon waiting for my kids to finish their homework.  This isn't regular school homework; no, school is officially out today. And this isn't summer school homework either; my kids aren't at that age where summer school is necessary.  

And yet, I am here at a place which for all intents and purposes is like school, what with reading and math lessons followed by nightly homework.  Expect unlike summer school, this is a paid engagement; and the actual price depends on which Kumon you go to.

The reason I am subjecting both my kids and my wallet to this (according to them) abuse is the belief that they will excel further in school.  Although thanks to common core, what is taught here is not the same there and vica versa.  

Worse still, Kumon excels the student forward through complex stacking memorizing, whereby what is learned last time is added to incremently in future lessons.  It's similar to regular school but at an accelerated pace.  That wouldn't be bad if the school didn't then overwrite everything learned with their own lessons.

Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time and money but the progress I see from my children makes it worthwhile.  So that means I'll have to increase my diligence to make sure all their hard work in Kumon isn't wasted.  Which also means I have homework too.

Given this, I might ask myself what advantage does school offer?  That's pretty easy given the friendships and other life lessons learned.  Plus, my kids' school has science lab, art, and computer science (although many other schools don't).  But they are still limited in what a teacher can teach in a period and what an entire class of easily distracted children can learn. They still do teach and my children's district is one of the best in SoCal, so it wouldn't be terrible if we didn't do it. But we want the best for our kids and that includes giving them every opportunity to excel (regardless of the cost). And until I see differently, that will include reading and math lessons at a premium.